Hello all! I’m in the middle of working though Prosci Chief Innovation Officer Tim Creasey’s post titled Change Management Trends Outlook 2024 and Beyond. This week, however, I’m pausing that series to ask the question….

What’s love got to do with change management?

Being in a new, amazing relationship has me paying much more attention to Cupid, Valentine’s Day, and all things romance, passion, and love. That’s the soil from which this question recently sprang to life. Not long after the question bloomed in my mind, answers started popping up. As it turns out, love has a lot to do with change management!

Here are four of the commonalities that came up for me:

• Emotions
• Humanity
• Assume the best
• Supporting

Emotions

Being in a new relationship has brought up a host of emotions for me; most are wonderful, some are challenging. I am finding that the relationship is most healthy when I acknowledge and hold space for all my emotions and those of my partner. I’m also finding that trying to manage or solve either of our emotions as if they’re something to be resolved or “taken care of” isn’t super helpful.

I don’t think the change management discipline, in general, is very comfortable with feelings. We, and the project teams we support, like to have deliverables to check off on our project plans. Honoring how people feel about a change doesn’t fit well on our spreadsheets or roadmaps. We’re good at addressing peoples’ intellect via communications and training, but not nearly as good at addressing their emotions.

We’re good at addressing peoples’ intellect via communications and training, but not nearly as good at addressing their emotions.

Humanity

The relationship I’m in involves two complex, imperfect, wonderful, human beings with histories, full lives, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc. We recognize the “human-ness” of each other and try our best to not manage how the other person works through a given situation or experience . You might say we are doing the relationship with each other, not to each other.

If you’ve read much of my blog, you can guess the parallels I see with change management. We need to remember that the people experiencing change are complex, imperfect, wonderful, human beings with histories, full lives, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc., not an impersonal “stakeholder” or “target audience”.

I believe we should do change with people, not to them. My job as a change management practitioner is to care about and help the human beings I’m working with navigate through the change they’re experiencing as best as possible.

Assume the best

If you’ve ever read a relationship book, you’ve probably come across this one. Relationships don’t flourish when you compare the person you’re seeing now to past relationships, assign meaning to their behavior based on past experiences, or label them in negative ways based on models you have in your head. Relationships are stronger if you treat the person you’re seeing as a unique human being and assume positive intent / assume the best about them, their actions, and their words. If need be you can have clarifying conversations to understand why your partner is showing up the way they are.

In change management, we often prematurely label people as resistant to change. What would happen if we assumed the best about someone we thought was being difficult, if we assumed they had positive intent in their actions? The book Crucial Conversations encourages us to ask the question, “Why would a reasonable, rational person act this way?” I like how this question encourages us to be curious and reframe our fellow human beings as “reasonable and rational” instead of “resistant”.

What would happen if we assumed the best about someone we thought was being difficult, if we assumed they had positive intent in their actions?

Support

I think that in a relationship one of my responsibilities is to be supportive of my partner in ways that are meaningful and helpful to them. They have the power and answers within themselves to navigate through whatever they’re going through. My job is to support them. As a good friend of mine said, if you’re offering unsolicited advice you’re not helping you’re meddling.

The same concept applies in change management. If I’m doing change management to you, trying to get you to think, feel, believe, and/or do things that I want you to do, I am manipulating you for my gain. I’m not treating you as an autonomous, powerful, capable human being. I’m not supporting you as you take the necessary steps to navigate through a change.

If I’m doing change with you, I’m providing the support you need to successfully navigate change. The power is with you. You have the wherewithal to successfully deal with change.

Closing thoughts

I want to hear from you! What are your thoughts on whether love has anything to do with change management? Please post your thoughts and comments below. Let’s help each other become the best change management practitioners and enthusiasts we can be!

Thank you for reading. Until next time, take care and keep up the good work!

Mike

PS: Happy Valentine’s Day Jill!